The whole of the last two weeks never did seem to have happened. It still feels like i'm just waiting to finish my year here in Australia and all is going to be the same when i go back in November. It feels like i'm just going about on my regular student days while calling home as and when i'm available at night. Knowing deep down that there are people back home who are eagerly waiting for me to go home, i too am anxious.

But the truth now is, everything's changed. I would very much like to say it's for the better but sadly it's not. It still feels all too surreal for me. The day when i picked up that phone call, it seemed like it was a drama playing out in my dream, my all too imaginative mind playing tricks on me. As the phone call went on, i hated myself so much when all i could say when asked to go down immediately was, " i can't. I'm currently in Australia." The first voice i heard from that phonecall and the cries still ring in my head now and then. Why do i have to be so far away?

It was only 16 hours later that i managed to be there. All too late. I couldn't touch nor smell her anymore. It feels more like a picture in there then the person i know. I didn't even see her over webcam the day before nor hear her voice. I haven't hugged her in all 8 months that i was away. I haven't given her the clothes that she told me to get for her. She hasn't tried them on despite saying how nice they were and i'll never know how they fit on her. I was so hoping it'll look so nice on her with it not being too tight just the way she likes it. Now i'll never know.

Just 3 days before, I called back to thank her, only to hear her thank me back, not knowing what to say. It felt so funny then, but i'm thankful i did say that to her after all this years. All the time, i felt weird to tell her thank you for the simple meals that she cooked or even thank you for the simplest things like having cared for me all these years. Somehow on that day, i managed to do it at 1441hrs, exactly the time we first met. She was so happy about it that she mentioned it proudly to my siblings and brother in law while having dinner with them. And just the day before it all happened, she had gone out to get me my present, showing it to my sister all excited about it. I never did know about it until i got home the next day. She had wanted it all as a surprise for me, not calling me like last year to tell me that she has gotten me the watch she has so wanted me to have as a present, she wanted to wait for me to come home and give it to me. The present would no longer be passed to me from her very hands. The hands i also thought were smoother than mine, when in actual fact have felt so much hurt from the detergents and laundry soap.

i still remember saying a number of weeks back, how only she could bring me out of how i was feeling when i did really badly for my paper. Others may say the same things as she does, but their words would never really will have the same effect as hers does. I called home that day wanting to speak to her, only to know she has gone out. After a few days, I finally hear those words that i needed from her, it totally made me feel so much better. I could even tell her after that the result of the paper gladly.

The last time i heard her voice was when she called on 14 Oct, at 1.08pm Canberra time. She had seen that i was online on skype, so she called through to me on my phone just to talk to me. That was the rare few times when she did call me, rather than me calling home. I still remember how i used to mention to her why she hardly called me and it's always me calling back. I wished i hadn't been so lazy, and even not have called her for a few days long. "Why didn't you call me for so many days?" was all that needed to show how she missed me, how she had always been waiting for my call.

It's all too sudden, all too unreal. Can i turn time back please? Can i be like the time traveller and keep going back to the times when i still have her around? Please? There's so many things she has yet to do, and more she hasn't done with me. We've talked so much about how she was going to come over and stay with me, but it never did materialise. There's just too many too many things.  My birthdays will never be the same ever again.

I need her. I miss her. I love her.

i realised i have not done this blog much justice. Much like the other blogs that i have, they somehow just remain so quiet in the corner that no one hears their screams for attention. It's always during the times when i'm absolutely free with nothing much to do that i come on and type a few words here.

The final sem is finally over with the exams and i can officially say that i am done with my first year of uni and it's on to the second year! This sem was quite a crazy one, what with all the balancing act and stuff. Hopefully i'm better equipped now with the balancing act and that i'll keep to what i have set out to do with the coming time that i have. Now it's time to get on and get my life in uni filled with something rather than too much free time. The time wasted is just too heavy and can only lead you to doing really really dumb things. SOOO. i still feel that we need to fill our lives with something that keeps us busy. Too much free time isn't a good thing if you have nothing on your own part to fill up with.

I'm missing the gals so much. It is not nice at all to see them in the pictures on a holiday WITHOUT me. Sometimes i wonder if it's a good thing that i came over or not. I'm missing everyone back home, the lack of chance to be spending with them. Suddenly it feels like i'm no longer the person i used to be. Somehow i've lost all confidence. Somehow i'm just a girl. hmm. dunno what that means, it just came to me as i typed. haha.

Oh well. Hopefully i'll find some bits of myself back after spending time with mel in adelaide. I guess i am really in need of girls around me for me to be spending time with. I need the girls that i am close to. BIG TIME. It feels so weird to not have much girl talk around here. ARGH.

THEREFORE,
in serious need of girl time.

Make the 1 week in adelaide a good one.

My dear, heart wrenching entries do not come and go as you ask for it. I'm not sure if i'll be able to write yet another one that would make you tear, but i'm glad you haven been doing that in a long time. The past few entries came because of the little things that have been happening back home, from what i've heard or rather been updated on, hence the outpour of feelings. I do hope that when you say you haven been crying, it's simply because you're only getting stronger and stronger each day. Keep it out girl because you know you are worth more than all the nonsense that you've been put through. Things go only because God knows that you are worth so much more than what you have now and he's simply brought you through onto another phrase of your life. We all love you so don't go doing silly things to yourself or to the person that's causing you all this.

Recently i've seen so much come and go, people doing silly things to not only hurt others but eventually hurting themselves. Way too much have been happening. Somehow they all think that they are in control but honestly speaking they never are because after a while, plans can only go awry. So why set up plans like this when you know eventually you'll only hurt yourself when they fail and even if they do succeed, how much pleasure are you gonna get out of it. All these just come about to show me how fragile people to people relationships can be and how little people can disregard them sometimes in an attempt to succeed something. Therefore babe, treasure the people around you, ignore whatever has happened. It's all in the past now and you need to take another step FORWARD. No more stepping back anymore. No matter how much you have felt for in the past or even now, it's probably better for you as long as you leave it to be and hope for all to be well cause that's only when you will feel so much better and happier since you've done nothing to harm the other person and hence yourself.

I love you too my girl and it's definitely no less as compared to the other 2 of them. Well maybe a little since i'm dee's favourite out of the 3 of us. :P ULTIMATELY, I love you all the same. keep going. I know you can because of who you have with you, behind you.

That was a very interesting last post that i had. I never knew people could cry over that even though i was indeed close to tears when i was typing it. Close to tears for the fact that i'm not there with you guys to have all the fun, laughter and tears. Close to tears for the fact that i have totally no idea how things are getting along for you guys till much later. Close to tears simply for the fact that i miss you all. After having you three so close to me through the years of JC and suddenly have to be without again feels awkward, out of place. There's so many things that i want to be telling you three about and so many things i want to be there listening on. There are times when i just want to talk to you three about anything the way we used to do. Just like how i just want to be there for you girl right now when you need us the most. Kellyn, you'll pull through alright. Be strong girl, you can.

Random thoughts been running through my mind. So random i have no idea what the meaning behind all of them are. So many, i have no idea where they begin. Recently it's just so tiring. So tired for me that i just want to be resting. Every time i just want to be resting in bed, Ms gan's words come to mind. She mentioned to me that everytime i feel stressed out or worry a lot about something, all i want to be doing is sleep all the troubles and worries away. At times, i just think 'how true, how true' and at others, i start to wonder if that's really the case.

So many things have been happening. The most recent being the welcome dinner at the Singapore High Commission and just tonight, a 21 min fireworks for 'Skyfire'. There had also been the commencement cocktail for B&G and a display of all the hot air balloons up close and personal. After the commencement dinner, i thought i ought to be staying away from the camera and that it ought to be different for the fact that it's not my camera, but it doesn't seem so. Even Ter knows that better than me. I'm too much of a camera addict to be staying away from it. Cept the only difference behind i'm addicted to the front of it, not behind the scenes. And it's always the usual stuff of getting around with friends and just having fun. Suddenly everyone's getting cars and it's so much easier to be getting around already. Feeling somewhat like a leech with all that free transport.

Work hasn't been going too well. Math hasn't been helping much despite being the favourite. They just have to keep focusing on my weakest topics. Trying to make sure there's constant revision for the other subjects, but i guess the interaction gene in me is so not helping. I keep wanting to be in the company of others, to share all the joy, fun and laughter. Finding it hard to get back to just work even though i know i have to. work. work. work. Such a mundane word. Not helping at all with the piling assignments. Not helping at all with the random thoughts. Not helping at all with the minimal contact i have with people i miss. Not helping that i'm so out of touch with people. Not liking it ONE BIT.

Here you go yang, your long entry for reading pleasure. I'm just spamming with all my random train of thoughts now.

I've been back in Aussie for about 2 weeks now. Been kinda busy with having to move everything from storage and getting all the things back from people whom helped me to keep with them. Changed a new room now, so it's kinda like the 2 other people whom i'm close to are all staying in the same block as me now. No more going separate ways when we go back to our room after meals and when we come back. This year is gonna be better in all aspects. School started a week ago, the beginning lectures were all kinda boring, but after that stupid diagnostic test that had to be done for the math 1115 module, i think i'm gonna need to be doing more practice on my math. This sem seems to have more lessons and i'll need to have more discipline to get down to doing my revision rather than wanting to be having fun all the time. After much thinking and discussion, i've decided that i'll stick to not joining too many things this semester. I'll want to keep it to the minimum. I'll still have fun alright, but guess i'll use this sem to get my priorites right on track.

The theme shared this year is transformation. So as i prepare to leave behind being a teen, it's time i get more responsibility into my life. No more hasty decisions. It's getting down to being transformed.

I'm missing the girls. Suat, kellyn, dee. And definitely the rest of the 1706 girls. I miss all the nonsense we have. The support we give each other in times of need, the crazy things the four of us have been through in that 2 years. The sarcasm in sandra's comments. EVERYTHING. Finally got down to uploading the pictures(yes suat, i uploaded all of them already. and you too kellyn), and just as i was looking through them, the fun, the tears, the laughter we go through just starts to come back. I so yearn for the company of you people again. PLEASE do come visit me please please please. haha.

Suat love, don't worry too much about the mods. Your semester is coming to an end soon and you can go bid for the better ones next sem. I know the anniversary is coming, so hang in there girl. Go be with dee and kellyn during your free time in school alright? I so want to be there to give you a hug now to encourage you and support you. Whatever happens you know that the 4 of us are always one. I still have the clique day written into my organiser :) We'll be there for you girl. It's time for moving on for him too so don't let that affect you about how you see it with yours. (If you don't really get what i'm saying, just msn me. ) Remember i'm gonna be here for you too. GO ADD SKYPE IF YOU NEED TO, then you can call and just whine to me all you want, i'll listen. :) You know i know you're great :)

Kellyn, i haven forgotten about you. It's good to see you all happier now. I'm glad i was there when you needed me, physically. But like what i'm telling suat, you two can go get skype and need not rely on dee's skype to call me haha. SMILE GIRL. you look a whole lot better smiling. I want the silly kellyn neo back again. :)

Dee, it's great to be talking to you on msn. GOSH I MISS YOU GUYS.

<3

Well, it's been a busy summer holiday time, going on my holidays with my family and friends and then meeting up with everyone else. Guess it's time i got back to Canberra and get myself ready for school again. It's time to keep my eyes and ears open to everything around me.

My flight's gonna be on mon, 16th Feb at 8pm. Should be at the airport T1 bout 6. So whoever reads this and is gonna be there, i'll see you there then!

Yoohoo!! I'm back in Singapore!! After the ridiculous 3 hours delay, plus 1 hour of sitting in the plane while a technical check is done on the engine and a 7 hours flight, i'm finally back in Singapore to wish my mama happy birthday:) I'm so so so so so so sorry to all who actually went down to the airport (kellyn, suat, dee, tins, hy, weechuan, lh, kamun, eileen) only to find out that my flight's delayed all the way to 2am. And also to the OAC people who were so close to actually getting to the airport. I apologise for taking stupid qantas to be giving such delays. But i'm really touched with the surprise you guys(1706) wanted to give me, at least i wasn't expecting such a large turnout to be at the airport except kellyn, eileen, suat and dee. haha. Thank you so much so much :) now that i'm back in Singapore, i'll be able to meet up with you guys yeah!! Just msg or call my on my hp to book me for the day yar?? still using the same number as before. Will be in Japan from the 30th nov to 6th dec and in Taiwan from the 16th dec to 23rd dec. Anytime between or after this is fine:) I'll only be returning to aussie in early feb. yep yep:)

Thanks to kaiwei, jonathan, zongyao and anqing, here's my major assignment. LOL. Since you guys want the high quality pictures rather than grabbing them off fb, i'm forced to put the pictures up here then. Here goes on the trip for us in Sydney right before returning to Singapore. Just a note beforehand, it's not possible for me to post up all the pictures cos thanks to the photography skills of Jonathan, the pictures aren't really clear and 119 shots is too much to be posting all here. haha.
( click here for the assignment piece :) )
After so long, i'm finally done with this. There is no way i'm gonna spend more time uploading them on fb. So one of you can take over that job from here. i'm in a hurry so i'll go off first. Bye now.

It's getting overly warm here.

i'm counting down to the time when i can finally say i have completed all my exams after having heard this line go over and over again for the past one week. Mine will come. In less that 20 hours. IT WILL BE OVER THEN. come on. the wait is killing.

Gonna be in Sydney for 2 days, 1 night before i come back to Canberra to take my flight back to Singapore. Hang on people. I'll be back real soon :D really really soon.

Feeling pretty random today so thought i'll come here to put up a post. In the library of School of Music with jonathan, an qing and zong yao to study, but somehow i'm not in the condition to be doing some mugging now. Well seems like my flu and cough are back and they're rendering me pain in the throat with husky voice. Suddenly it feels like a chore to even be talking. Guess it's trying to tell me to stop talking, and to be resting my poor body instead of overworking it. Even though i'm not feeling well now, it seems like i'm still not giving my body the rest it wants. Still revising my work for long periods of time, wanting to be out somewhere random or to just chill by reading my mangas online. Exams are 3 down and 1 more to go, the day of the last paper just seem so near and yet so far. The time that i'll be back in Singapore is counting down too. Mixed feelings are just overflowing within.

Recently, I seem to enjoy being in places that are not built up, wanting to be in nature rather than in civilisation. Everything else just seem so much more beautiful when it's away from civilisation. This is somehow making me feel like i ought to live in the stone age, though i'll probably die there having been brought up in an era of technology. It's interesting how i can choose to go on a drive with people or just borrow a bike to cycle off to somewhere that's away from built up areas. It never seemed this easy in Singapore. Guess that's the difference when you have more people on a smaller plot of land.

Feeling somewhat distant now. Not wanting to be involved in some and yet still wanting to be involved in some, it's getting confusing what i really want to be doing. Is the exam period actually causing me all this confusing thoughts? haha. Guess I'm just starting to feel tired and need a break from it all. oh well.

Enough of my random thoughts. People are starting to get confused reading these. lol. I'm fine. Probably just in need of a really really really good rest, physically, mentally and emotionally.

Well, been studying bout everyday for long hours, my brain cells are kinda dead already. It's been a while since i've studied non stop for long periods of time, just sitting there at the table making my notes and doing past year papers. This is so not fun. It's scary the way i'm studying now. I'm scared of myself. lol.

Realised i haven been updating this blog a lot, as compared to my fb stuff. The last time i actually updated this blog was like what.. 3 weeks ago?? Well it's a really long time. So guess i shall throw everything down in a long long long long entry as usual.

As some of you know, I made it into the team playing touch footy for my hall, had training everyday in the week that the competition was held. My life then was pretty much predictable. Going to classes in the morning, having my packed lunch in the library while revising my work, going for classes again, going back to the library to cram more words into my already packed brain and off for training i go. After dinner, it's back to more revision. The week was just really really freaky for me. I never knew i was capable of such discipline. lol. But it all paid off in the end when B & G girls won the Touch finals :) My first sport in hall and my first time playing this game competitively. lalala. It's quite an achievement for me though i didn't play as well as those girls who played the game really well. There was this event called Spartos where awards were given out to the sportsmen and artsy fartsy people (it was more or less an Australian event cos the people there were mainly the Australians or Caucasians on exchange, there were only 3 of us international students at one point in time.) Got an award there for Most improved. Well i guess you can say it's most improved considering how i've never played the sport and end up playing on the field with the starting team. haha. It was all so cool looking at the videos and stuff. WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS :)

Pictures were posted on fb bout this event called valete. Bet most of you must have found it weird as to what that is all about. Well that's an event for people to graduate after staying in B & G for 3 years or basically having completed their degree. Now now the question would be what in the world am i doing there when i satisfy neither criteria. Well just went along since there were two of my friends graduating and basically just getting ourselves involved in Hall events. And i have to mention, the cheongsam was killing me. It was so tight. It's obviously not mine. I still have no idea why i actually agreed to fit into it for the event lol. But they really do dress up and have plentiful to choose from when it comes to such events lol. It's just such a norm here that they'll probably be able to come up with anything in less than 2 days notice(you need to give them time to go to the salon to fix up their hair first yar? lol) But the results are just so gorgeous haha.

The next major one would be the farewell for jimmy. Spent quite a few days putting together a scrapbook for him with notes from everyone that he's come across in ANU. The end result of the book is just great. Proud of the good work done. Though as usual it's always hard to bring people together to do something but i'm still glad we managed to do it nonetheless. The farewell party we had was just big, there were close to 60 plus people who came down especially when it's close to the exam people. Just goes to show the charm that Jimmy holds. Things in B & G just feels weird without him around. Time seem so short even though it's been 4 months already. Everything just seems to come to pass so quickly that we don't even feel it. Just as how i'll be back in Singapore in less that 20 days. Even my exams are here in just 3 more days. Is my undergraduate years gonna pass as quickly as well?

I'm so numb from studying now i just need something to chill my brain out a little. argh. Everyone's just too caught up in their studying to bother bout me. oh well. speaks volume as to what i really ought to be doing. haha. bleah.

Well i got a little restless from revision on statistics so thought i'll just pop by to have a msg and update on what is it i've been doing.

I'm back from Melbourne! Had a road trip planned to go there for the Singapore Day and also to explore the place a little. It was a pretty tiring journey there especially when you're forced not to sleep while on the cars there just so that you keep the drivers awake to ensure they do not fall asleep while driving. Well if you think one way was bad, I did it on the way there and back. lol. But I kept myself well entertained.

Set off on the morning of Wednesday 1st October with our bags and food supply to be used on the road. Left uni grounds later than planned but everything still went pretty smoothly. The way there was pretty good, took a couple of pictures at the submarine town and also of the flowers on the hills along the way there as seen in the pictures on fb.(Yes, now fb is officially the place to be looking for pictures of me being in Canberra or any part of Australia whatsoever.) Checked into the hostel, Urban Central, at bout 6 plus 7. Put our things down and headed out to find ourselves some dinner. Since Sherwyn had craving for japanese food, we all went in search for jap food along Swanston Street (chinatown) and went for desserts at Greco. I think i'm getting addicted to sticky date pudding. I seem to order it everywhere i go lol. Probably back in Singapore, it'll be sticky date pudding at Marmalade Pantry *hint hint* AND this is the day i forgot to wish my bro and sis in law happy anniversary.... well i hope at least they'll enjoy themselves on their Europe trip.

2nd of October was the day where we woke up early, had some breakfast at the hostel and set off for Great Ocean Road with Fei, Nivi and Zhirong joining us on the trip. This was one drive on the trip, which i believe i slept the most, even though it was barely 4 hours out of the whole 10 hours. Took a lot of lovely pictures along the ocean and at the 12 apostles(which really has only 9 left i think). And because everyone keeps asking me bout it, let me clarify this. The picture that you guys see on fb with me and Hianyang, he's really just my son(aye son?). Everyone seems to ask so much bout that picture somehow even though there are like A LOT of other nice pictures of me too :P Anyway, got back to the hostel at bout 9 plus, and Tianyu knocked out on the bed the moment we got into the room. Justin, Sherwyn, Yang and I went out for some dinner at macs and headed to try and meet up with Jesse, but never got to see him in the end. So back to Greco we go for more desserts :)

3rd October we had a little sleep in before going to have dim sum in chinatown with some of Jason's friends. AND OUT OF NOWHERE, Kim, Kaiwei, Ting Ho and Sam appeared to join us for lunch. Other than Sam, the 3 other people were so not supposed to be there but to be in Canberra. Oh well, at least it was a pretty pleasant surprise and I've got Kim to accompany me for shopping:) After lunch, we kinda went on separate ways to do our shopping, since this was kinda one of the only free days we have for shopping. Kim and I tried to look for some nice dresses to wear to the FUSE Black and White ball but the prices of the dresses were just too pricey for us to even stay in the shop for long. haha. The both of us would look at the price tag, then at each other, nod our heads and out of the shop we go. It was some pretty fast shopping, going in and out of the shops checking for things we might like and the prices that suit our budget. Met up with Justin's friend for dinner later in the night at Stalactites and then it's more desserts at Freddo and some other place which i can't recall the name. Yes yes, somehow we're having desserts like EVERY NIGHT. haha.

4th October came and it was Singapore Day. Went over to meet Yang who was already in the queue with Jesse and his friend. While getting ourselves in, I spotted Serena Liew, was pretty shocked to see her there considering how i never knew she came over to Australia to study. Oh well, at least i DID meet someone i know in Melbourne other than the ANU people who went there for the break too. But compared to the guys, the number of people i actually met there was pathetic haha. At least i enjoyed the sun out in the grass while everyone else were queuing for the Singaporean food and the rest of us were just too lazy to fight with the crowd. Only went to queue so that Jesse could have a taste of our local fare. And at least i managed to get a little tanned after losing the tan i had before coming to Canberra. I'm missing my brown skin, hopefully the touch footy i'm having now would like me have some of that tan back. After the event, Kim, Justin and I went with Ho and his friend for some vietnamese beef noodles which isn't all too bad. After that it was back to more shopping. Met up with the rest to have dinner and MORE desserts at Greco again. lol. Kim came over to stay over at our hostel cos her backpackers was just too shady and not too good for her poor eye.

5th October was the day that we had to make our way back. Kim and i decided to wake up earlier to go make one last round to the shops to see if she ought to get the dress we last saw, though in the end we didn't get anything at all. So Yang, Kaiwei, Zongyao, Kim, Ho and I set off in the two cars back for Canberra. Before we set off, the hiccups were just so freaky but thankfully we all made it back to Canberra safe and sound with the addition of a road block along the highway. Overall, the trip was a good one, enjoyed myself thoroughly before getting back into full gear for the exams.

In the end, Kim and I went for the FUSE Black and White ball without spending a single cent other than for the tickets. We did well here.

October 13th. The day i was born. Yang rounded up quite an impressive number(30 people) to help celebrate my birthday at Hog's Breath and baking the berry cheesecake i requested. Had a lot of fun then even though it was celebrated the day before. On the day itself, I was just busy with attending lectures. Jonathan cooked mien xian for me for dinner too:) Had some fondue in the kitchen too with the fondue set Jason got me from Sydney as my present, in addition to the chocolate covered strawberries that Katie gave me. AND KATIE IRVINE gave me a freggo tatoo!! lol now the stupid sticker tatoo is being stubborn and not wanting to get away from my hand. haha. Jesse tried to sprung up on me again on the day itself after the shock he gave me the day before outside woolies, lifting me up suddenly from behind just to wish me happy birthday, but he failed cos i saw him first :) The rest of them came to my room to surprise me at the end of the day though it was past 12am already. But really it's the though that counted. Thank you so much guys for making it a really special day for me, including all the wishes on my fb wall. love you all :)

Exams are coming in 3 weeks, starting on the 8th of Nov, followed by 10th and 11th and finally 19th. In just 1 and a half months more, i'll be back in Singapore. I miss my mommy and mei mei. lol. So wanna hug them now. Wanna just cuddle them when i get restless from studying. Well at least mei is done with her PSLE and having fun playing now while i stay in my room after classes to get down to revision and forget about fun for now. Trying hard, trying hard to focus on revising. Ought to get the momentum on soon enough.

Nothing's planned for the 2 free days after my paper and before i leave for Singapore. People around me are like going to Sydney and stuff. Guess probably like what Tony said, it's to let you sleep in, enjoy a little breakfast and just relax before going back home.

Sometimes things go a certain way for a reason, we may question it sometimes, but honestly, it's just to let you realise certain things and build yourself stronger for the longer journey ahead.

The jog i did the other day may have worsen the pain in my legs, but at least that was a way for me to get away from everyone and everything for just a little time to my own out of my room. The tap may have overflowed, but it was a good release. Looking ahead, I've just built a stronger character in a way.

Neway my legs are feeling great now. Thanks so much for all who showed concern. They have to be better for the touch season is up next week. Pray hard I'll be able to play well. Don't wanna be getting touch boots just for a 2 day thing. It's gonna be a while before i have more to update here cos my life would probably surround exams only. So till then, tata.

The sem break is finally here. After the few weeks of studying into the late night or rather early morning, missing classes just to read through and understand the notes a little better, I'm finally entitled to a little more fun.

And it all began with the thursday, my last day in my last week of school for that term. After getting back from FUSE, the group of BnG-ers made their way into the D-block common room for some time of movie night. There I was, working on the last bit of my assignment and watching the movies at the same time. Well it was good fun to be with them, having some chips and kueh. "Hotel Rwanda" and "August Rush" was on screened that night. "Hotel Rwanda" just reminds me so much of "Schindlers' List". Both are stories of men with great courage to protect people that they have no need to protect. It's interesting to know how one can actually muster that much courage just to protect people who are really unrelated to them. I have no idea why i'm thinking so much now. Gosh. It must be due to the messed up day i have today, which just isn't going according to planned. oh well. Anyway "August Rush" was pretty good with the music and all. Boy! is that small guy talented or what. He played the guitar really well. I'm just so impressed.

Friday came along, had touch training in the afternoon then Kim called me to go to Fyshwick DFO with her. I had told her i was gonna go with her, but end up i went with Hian yang, Jason and Jesse to go make the proof of age cards at the Civic Library. Suddenly felt like putting on my sundress that day for shopping, so that's just what i did :) lol. So went to the bank, then to the library to make my proof of age card and drivers' learner's license(YES i'm qualified to get into a REAL car to learn to drive lol.). The other 3 guys went to make their proof of age card but nicely enough they all didn't have the things that they required so there was no way they could make theirs. SO I was the only one who made what i went there for while the rest just had to sit there to wait for me to be done. After that, Hian yang, Jason and I went to catch the bus to go to fyshwick to meet Kim and people, but it was nicely there that they were making their way back already. Oh well. We kinda just circled the place, had our dinner and made our way back. Was watching "Borat" while the rest were having their dinner and i swear that movie is just plain retarded. I totally fell asleep watching that(or it could be i was simply too tired too since i only had 2 hours of sleep after trying to doll my assignment up a little. haha) Went with Jimmy and gang to have a Karaoke session at Dickson. Man, that was some enjoyable time, everyone was just so hyped up and singing along for every song that we chose that we were so reluctant to go(which we did cos it was just too costly to stay on there). That was just some really good fun. :) Had great chats in the kitchen thereafter during supper.

Then it was time for Saturday. Woke up with just enough time for me to get ready and go for my touch training. So little people turned up for training, it was like only half the team? But did quite a number of drills too. After touch was done, went over to the gym to find hianyang, anqing, zongyao and jj. Did a few planks there and that's when my stupid ankles start to hurt again. I'm seriously suspecting it was cos of the collapsed arches in the past when i was training in OAC. But they haven been hurting for more than a year already. I seriously have no idea why they are back suddenly, ESP when i'm hardly training much. On our way back from the gym, met haswan playing his soccer ball on his own so we decided to join in for a short game. Hianyang and i were in one team, anqing zongyao and haswan in the other. Seriously, it was more of hianyang playing 1 v 3 then 2 v 3 lol. i just seriously suck at soccer even though i did help to score like 2 goals out of the 8 or sth we had? I just kept missing the ball and kicking at haswan leg when i was trying to get the soccer ball. haha. it was some sporty fun haha. Back in the hall, we helped Jonathan to wrap the dumplings for dinner, which was just simply sumptuous. Had fettucini carbonara with prawns, boiled and fried dumplings and boxed crabs(real crab meat in a box lol). There was even hianyang's erm mud cake, JJ's chocolate cake and ice cream too. Went for yet another movie night after dinner in the same common room. Watched "8 dogs under" or something along that title. It was pretty cool watching how the dogs learn to survive in the while and the beautiful northern lights.

Sunday!! Woke up early to do some ushering and after that we had a little bbq in a nice field. The food was great, the sun was great, the people were great! Though it was the usual sausages and bun bbq, we had chicken wings and salad too, plus yan wen made from really good banana cake to share with the rest of us. It was just simply delicious. Had a great time playing with the little girls in the field with all the daisies around us and taking a number of pretty pictures. Went for night talk and then it was off to sam's place for some raviolli and garlic bread for dinner. It was nice being there talking to the people and hearing bout the kind of tricks they play on people from Phil. haha. oh and i had a good solid talk on the phone with twinnie for like 1hr 45min haha. There'll be more to come :)

Well today honestly speaking is like the weirdest day of my sem break haha. Initially planned out nicely to go for floraide with kim then she'll go for her sailing and at night it'll be Karaoke. HOWEVER, I only just remembered i have connections at night and touch in the afternoon and kim was gonna go see the doctor bout her eye infection and the others wanted to go ice skating. So had 'shou gong mian' (yes my craving for it was satisfied :) i swear i crave for the most random stuff.) for lunch, stayed in the kitchen till 3, and prepared to go for touch at 4pm. NICELY met ash and em downstairs on their way to AIS for a swim, and we just concluded there just wasn't going to be any touch today since bout 3/4 of the team was away on holidays to actually be there for the training. So back to my room i went and finished up watching "PS: I love you". Guess i felt more when i was reading the book than i was when i was watching the movie. End up looking at the handsome actors and pretty actresses throughout the movie only. OH plus the pretty shoes that Holly designed, they're just simply beautiful:) Anqing decided to go for karaoke tonight instead of having their ice skating so we'll be singing again tonight :) Hopefully we'll still have that much fun as we did the last time we went with the little time we will have at that place.

Taped ankles just feel so much better. Less pain. Who asked me to be such a sucker for pain. lol.

S___ night just concluded yesterday with the group of us dressed in our various costumes and themes. The night was just one filled with fun and LOTS of photo taking. lol. Kim and I were helping out with registration on that day, so the both of us were sitting at the door and greeting everyone good evening there. haha. It was pretty cool though. I was dressed in Spanish attire while Kim was in Snow white attire, since all our themes had to begin with S___. Think our table was one of the noisiest table during that night out of the erm 9 table there. For one, the people on our table were kinda the main performers of that night, our very own band. We had our singers- Don and Tingho, our drummers- Zan and Jason, our pianists- Anqing and Hianyang, our electric guitarist- Justin and our tamborine player - Kaiwei. haha. For the night they played 'You raise me up', 'An Jing', 'Ni na mo ai ta' and 'That thing you do'. The performance was just terrific. All pictures and videos for that night are posted on fb. It's too many pictures for me to post them all here so if you wanna have a look at the pictures that night, hop over to fb to check them out :)

Sem break is coming up in bout 1 week. Gonna be going down on a road trip to Melbourne for Singapore Day and also to do some sight seeing there:) Looking very much forward to going for it. Wonder what it would be like to have a whole group of us there to enjoy ourselves and taking in the views. well we'll know in time to come. lol

Gosh. I'm out of stuff to write. I really can't think of anything to write. Oh maybe this. I'm in the team for touch football now. It's also known as touch rugby. Gonna be playing for my hall so hopefully nothing will go wrong for it. HOPEFULLY. I'll need to find a way to get boots or i'm going to keep falling on my butt like i did yesterday trying to brake my run. how how how.

Guess that's bout it. lol

here's a full shot of my attire for that day since my album on fb is full lol.

Thanks suat! i know i'll always have you gals :) I just needed to have an outlet to express myself cos there were just too many for me to learn and absorb then. I'm totally being my cheerful self again:)

Well just felt i ought to put a post here to not make myself look so gloomy. haha. I'm feeling totally better now and back to my usual crazy self. OH and i'm doing touch rub for my hall now. Gonna try to play it for the hall. I need to get myself more involved in the hall and know more people. Feel totally like a hermit crab hanging out only with the seniors from SSA haha. Well it's time for fun AND studies.

back to work.

claudyne's a happy girl:)

especially when her cravings are satisfied. :D

I've learnt one thing from the wee hours of this morning, and all I'm gonna say about it is that it definitely was an experience, a learning experience. God certainly has His way of making you see the things that He wants you to see, and whether you are willing to see it and learn from it, it's a another thing altogether. Things always happen for a reason but sometimes we might not see the reason or His plan behind it for happening. However, after getting sober from all the happenings of that night, I begin to see things that I know I've done wrong. Maybe it's like what Kim says, I'm beginning to feel the guilt that's why I was so worried about it all. Whatever it is, i'm glad i saw the light behind the matter. There are times people just don't know what they are doing, it's times like these that all the more you need to be aware of yourself, aware of what He's saying in your heart. Your mind may falter, but let your heart for Him stand firm that He may guide you through what it is that you need to be.

Whatever I heard just now just spoke so much. Especially this.

This is Our God- Hillsongs
Your grace is enough
More than I need
And your word I will believe
I wait for you
Draw near again
And your spirit make me new
And i will fall at your feet
I will fall at your feet
And i will worship you here

Your presence in me
Jesus light the way
By the power of your word
I am restored
I am redeemed
By your spirit i am free
And i will fall at your feet
I will fall at your feet
And i will worship you here

Freely you gave it all for us
Surrendered your life upon that cross
Great is your love
Poured out for all
This is our God

Lifted on high from death to life
Forever our God is glorified
Sovereign king
Rescued the world
This is our God

And i will fall at your feet
I will fall at your feet
And i will worship you here

And i will fall at your feet
I will fall at your feet
And i will worship you here

Freely you gave it all for us
Surrendered your life upon that cross
Great is your love
Poured out for all
This is our God

Lifted on high from death to life
Forever our God is glorified
Sovereign king
Rescued the world
This is our God

The past is a trap, let the pull of destiny, the pull of the future for Him be greater than anything else. Learning from these experiences would help one to grow, and i'm glad i did. Stretch out 'once again' and make things the way it ought to be. Be transparent before Him, take a hold on your own future, leaving behind the past, 'ONCE MORE', build on what you have and keep worship and appreciation as part of your life.

Pardon me for the random thoughts. Just needed to put all this somewhere to remind myself and to help people around should this speak to them too. 'Since we have the same spirit of Faith, I believe, therefore I speak'- 2 Corinthians 4:13

It definitely felt good to have Him work on you in His presence and cry out everything unto Him. No one's gonna bother how stupid you look with the tears running down your face, cause it's a sign that He's in the house. No longer feel bottled up inside. Praise His name.

I'm glad I have Kim and Manda here with me.

'But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.'- 2 Corinthians 12.9

FINALLY the mid sems are over for me since thursday evening. Though i know i didn't do really well considering the amount of careless mistakes i've made and all. Guess i'll need to work really hard for my finals to help pull those grades really high up. oh well. it's done. time to move on and work harder.

Well went to sam's place in the evening to celebrate him being in charge of fuse now. I even got onto Zack's Ducanti 749 bike(according to them, it's like the ferrari of bikes. lol.) to take a pic : ) i so need to get that pic from justin. Dun worry, i didn't ride on it while it's moving haha though the engine was on to let the guys hear how it sounded. And just as we were admiring the bike in the backyard, my dear dear amanda chong just have to be a silly girl and cause herself to get scalded by hot water when she poured just boiled water into the glass and it broke. Poor girl. Stayed with her through that night and decided to bring her to Calvary Hospital when she felt it was really stinging the next night. Stayed with her through again to bring her to the plastics at Canberra hospital the next day. She so need to watch what she do. lol. Even thought of pouring water into her mouth when i just boiled the water for her -.- Guess i'll have to stick to her and watch over her more. lol. finally it's my turn to be taking care of others rather than being cared for.

AT least we did have something good happening out of this week :) and that's my eldest son, hianyang's birthday!! Kimmie and I were thinking of all the different ways to surprise him and all to make this a really special 21st for him. We got Suds to help us whereby after his hall training for volleyball, we turned out the lights in the volleyball court and start running in with our sports attire on to wish him happy birthday. (the actual one had like cake and sparklers). Too bad i was too busy trying to savage the cake kimmie and i made to be there to witness all this. Really have to thank Suds for helping us. Brought hy back to BnG after their team meeting and that silly boy had to come in on me while i was trying to savage the stupid cake that just wouldn't get cooked in the middle. Seems like my son surpassed me way too much even though we started to bake at the same time. His higher frequency of baking helped him way too much. haha. Had a bbq and jimmy just cooks the best lamb chops or rather anything jimmy cooks is really really good. Thank God i met him before he leaves ANU. Man we're seriously gonna miss him greatly after he's back in Singapore and we're here in ANU. The turnout for the party was just huge man, or rather bigger than usual. Glad so many people turned up for something we planned. Oh we celebrated tricia's birthday too since hers is like one day before hy's. All were celebrated early anyway. Glad he enjoyed himself a lot with that surprise :)

tata.

Okie. I'm getting complained for not updating my blog considering how this is the best channel of updating the folks back in singapore on how i'm doing here. so here goes.

It's the mid sems this week. Two papers came and gone. Out of my 4 modules, i've 3 papers for mid sems. Mon was emet 1001, and the one that just passed was busn 1001. Been studying till like 4am in the morning for the papers(so unheard of back in singapore), but guess the paper for emet was pretty tough so i can only say it's passable but not excellent. As for busn, i'm prepared to do really badly for it alr. Considering how i'm really bad with my balance sheet and income statement, there goes about half the marks in my paper. Even if i knew how to do the rest, think it's probably gonna be hard for me to do really well in it. One more paper on thurs to go. Finm 1001. Stat 1008 assignment due on fri, but i'm more or less done with that alr so no worries : ) I need to really work on figuring out how to insert the figures and actually balance out my stuff for busn. The knowledge in theory isn't really gonna save me for the finals. It's telling me to do my assignment for busn really really well. lol.

Enough rambling about my horrible mid sems. My week now is just so uneventful cos i'm just too busy with revising my work. oh well. This is so queer in comparison to the weeks before mid sem. It seemed as if there were activities almost every other day or week. haha. well guess this is the life of a uni student. First few weeks are the honeymoon period, then when the exams really hit you hard, everyone just turns into hermit crabs and start hiding away in their rooms to study alr. haha.

I'm saying a lot here about myself in Canberra, but i'm so lost as to what the rest are doing back in singapore. For one i barely know what's the system really like in the local uni so can't comment much and i have no idea what you guys have been up to cos either you guys dun have blogs are you dun even bother to update them. haha. PLEASE PLEASE keep me in the loop of things.

I'll be back on the 22nov night. But flying off to japan on the 30th nov to 6th dec. So please let me have the chance to meet up with you guys amidst all your busy schedules : ) If you need my contacts like my mobile or address here, just drop me a msg and i'll pass them on to you.

love ya all : )

Well, been really sick the past two days with fever running at 38.6. Thankfully i've great friends here who took care of me through the night just to sponge me, ensure i'm well hydrated and that my fever is brought down. Thanks all! Went to the doctor's and he said it was some throat infection that's causing all this problems especially since the cough has been ongoing for like 2 weeks(still counting). Hopefully it gets better really really soon cos it sucks not being able to eat a lot a lot of stuff. Much better now with all the panadols and other medication thrown down my throat, fever's gone but cough still lingers around. It's so gonna be my 3rd bottle of cough mixture already.

One more thing, i passed the theory and road ready course to my first step to learning driving : ) Just need to make that trip down to Watson to collect my documents following which to make my Learner's license and i can start learning to drive already!! Therefore, note to self, make trip down to Watson as soon as possible to collect documents.

Mid-sem exams are coming up in bout a week's time with assignments to complete and stuff, gonna be pretty busy mugging my work and finishing up my assignments. So if there's anything you wanna tell me, please drop me a mail or post a comment here or i'll probably be too distracted to be talking to you much on MSN. haha.

Oh and before i forget... THIS IS A BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY WISH TO MY DEAREST DENISE YAP (though it's like one day in advance. haha.) Hope you'll have a great one this year babe, though i'm PRETTY sure that someone has that all well planned out just for you. : )

tata.